Letting go

One day I am asked on how to forget about a past, I am at a lost. I remember something about about how to deal with a past that we may not like. A bit of google turn up the phrase that I am looking for,

 面对它、接受它、处理它、放下它 (圣严法师 )

Although proposed by a Zen monk, it encompass the four actions that will allows us to cope with anything. The key thing here is action. The situation will not change if there is no action. A lot of people want to deal with the past yet are no willing to put in to action, how would the situation change?

The four actions are:

1. Face it - Look at the issue and acknowledge that it existed. The toughest step in problem solving is identify the  problem. Many a time however, we conveniently forget about the issue and allows it to hit us back at the worst possible moment.

2. Accept it - Accept that the issue affect you, that you need to do something about, that it will not go away by you sheer force of will. Accepting is to come to term with. Rejecting an issue will not solve the problem.

3. Deal with it - Now that the issue is acknowledge and accepted, you need to deal with it with all your life experience and ingenuity. Is there a absolutely correct way? No. But it should be a way that will allows the fourth step.

4. Let it go - Letting go is not about forgetting, or trade something for something. It is about treating the issue as something that happen, but has being acknowledged, and accepted and completely dealt with, no other attachment except experience gain, friendship strengthen, family bonded etc. Removing all the negative association that tied us to it.

http://baike.baidu.com/view/366511.htm